saturday morning I am on my way to church... as I am at a stop light a man in a lexus (fairly attractive-could have got a date in the past) is looking at me and smiling... and my thought is.. I so understand a street man.. and I don't understand a church man at all...

I have been thinking this for several years... I thought that church men don't make any sense to me because they know Jesus and yet they still treat women badly.. and because they know Jesus we are not expecting it and in my own case was hurt more deeply than a street man ever hurt me because I expected nothing from them.. whereas I expected everything from the church man...

 

this morning driving to work God says the issue is not the man.. it is the church woman... HUH?????

when you were looking at or dating street men.. you knew what it was.. you knew what to expect.. and you knew how to respond... you begin to look at a church man and all of a sudden you think he is no longer a regular man.. you think he is dating with the intention of marriage where you never thought that with a street man.. so recognize a man is a man and act accordingly....

 

WHEW!!! that was so profound to me!!! and so truth!!

we as women imagine that men in church are immediately looking to marry us in 10minutes so we will be up for whatever.. yet when you met a man in the club you weren't up for whatever because you understood what he was really thinking... reality is.. even if the church man ends up marrying you... that was not his first thought.. because he is a man.. he is visual.. and just like any other man he wants sex... it is our job to not prostitute ourselves thinkig every man is thinking about marriage.. make him wait... just like you should have been doing with the street man...

 

thank you Jesus for that amazing lesson in manology!!

I have really been having a rough couple years spiritually...

this last 2-3 years my beliefs have really been tested... there have been times that I haven't been sure if God ever spoke to me... I didn't know if I ever even knew God at all.... was God even here? was I truly alone and all of this relationship with God had just been a fantasy...

this is the truth of what I don't know and what I do know at the end of the battle... well I don't know if the battle is over or not... but I pray it is...

I need to stop being influenced by other voices...
God has been all I have believed I had all my life... so if He hasn't been real.. then I have been disillusioned long term...
whether any of this is truth whether it is not... I would rather die believing in God and Him not have been real.. than to die not believing and He is real...
I love God... all of my life.. all of these years.. He has been the only constant in my life... people come and go.. even family members... even if I were to get married.. that man would eventually die.. or I would.. and one of us would be without one another again... the only One that will never leave me.. even after death... that is God... He is the center of my existence... He is my truth... He is my reality... above all else...

I will continue to try to be more like Christ every day... what I have read and believed for Him to be... that is all there is for me...

Hebrews 6: So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don’t need to start again with the fundamental importance of repenting from evil deeds and placing our faith in God. ² You don’t need further instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. ³ And so, God willing, we will move forward to further understanding.

⁴ For it is impossible to bring back to repentance those who were once enlightened—those who have experienced the good things of heaven and shared in the Holy Spirit, ⁵ who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the power of the age to come— ⁶ and who then turn away from God. It is impossible to bring such people back to repentance; by rejecting the Son of God, they themselves are nailing him to the cross once again and holding him up to public shame.

 

this is one of the times I am not a fan of paul.. if he wrote this book... it seems they are unsure who wrote this because it was much better writing technique than paul normally is known for... whoever wrote it.. I am not their friend... I have fallen away from God over and over throughout this lifetime.. and while I think it will never happen again... it did.. but I don't believe God gave up on me.. or determined I was worthless or it was impossible to bring me back to repentance... I just got sidetracked by self....

 

I am so thankful that God does not give up on us.... so thankful that He gave me one more chance after the 300,000 I had already messed up on...

Hosea 3: The Eternal spoke with me again.

Eternal One: Go and love a woman who is loved by someone else and is adulterous. Care for her and protect her, just as I love the people of Israel even though they’re unfaithfully turning to other gods and selfishly eating sacred raisin cakes in their honor.

² So I paid the bride-price for this woman, less than I would pay to own a slave: six ounces of silver, about ten bushels of barley.

Hosea (to the woman): ³ You’re going to live with me for a long time. I didn’t buy you just for my own pleasure, and I’m not going to cast you aside. But I’m not going to let you commit adultery again—in fact, you’re not going to have sexual relations with anyone, not even me.

⁴ In the same way, the people of Israel will go for a long time without having a king or prince of their own, without having any altars or sacred pillars, and without having any way of divining answers through a vestment or images. ⁵ And afterward, once their devotion is renewed, they’ll return and genuinely worship the Eternal their God, and they’ll end their rebellion against the royal house of David. In those days they’ll come trembling to the Eternal One and rediscover His goodness.

 

I always thought that hosea went and re-bought gomer.. but this version makes it seem as if it were a different woman... idk if  that is right...

it says he paid less for her than what he would have paid for a slave... can you imagine if our worth was less to God than that of a slave? I would say that has been true of men.. but it would be tramatic if that were true of God... thankfully.. it is NOT true of Him...

 

he says he will live with her a long time and he will not allow her to be adulterous... and that he did not buy her for his own pleasure alone.. and he promises to not cast her aside...  and they would not have sexual relations.. other versions say for a long time... this version sounds like ever... in the name of Jesus.. please don't let it be never again....

 

and once our devotion is once again for God alone.. then we will re-discover His goodness... and that has surely been the truth in my life.. and I see it being truth in Tina's life too... thank you Father!!!

1 John 2: ⁷ My loved ones, in one sense, I am not writing a new command for you. I am only reminding you of the old command. It’s a word you already know, a word that has existed from the beginning. ⁸ However, in another sense, I am writing a new command for you. The new command is the truth that He lived; and now you are living it, too, because the darkness is fading and the true light is already shining among you.

⁹ Anyone who says, “I live in the light,” but hates his brother or sister is still living in the shadows. ¹⁰ Anyone who loves his brother or sister lives in the light and will not trip because his conscience is clear. ¹¹ But anyone who hates his brother is in the darkness, stumbling around with no idea where he is going, blinded by the darkness.

 

 

anytime we hate people.. we are in darkness... sheesh...

 

 

Father fill me with your love and your light so that I no longer look at people from my human standpoint but instead see them through your eyes of love..

1 Kings 19: ⁴ He journeyed into the desert for one day and then decided to rest beneath the limbs of a broom tree. There he prayed that his life would be over quickly and that he would die there beneath the tree.

Elijah: I’m finished, Eternal One. Please end my life here and now, even though I have failed, and I am no better than my ancestors.

⁵ Elijah then laid himself down under the broom tree and entered into a deep sleep. While he was sleeping, a heavenly messenger came and touched him and gave him instructions.

Eternal One: ¹¹ Leave this cave, and go stand on the mountainside in My presence.
The Eternal passed by him. The mighty wind separated the mountains and crumbled every stone before the Eternal. This was not a divine wind, for the Eternal was not within this wind. After the wind passed through, an earthquake shook the earth. This was not a divine quake, for the Eternal was not within this earthquake. ^12-13 After the earthquake was over, there was a fire. This was not a divine fire, for the Eternal was not within this fire.
After the fire died out, there was nothing but the sound of a calm breeze. And through this breeze a gentle, quiet voice entered into Elijah’s ears. He covered his face with his cloak and went to the mouth of the cave. Suddenly, Elijah was surprised.

Eternal One: Why are you here, Elijah? What is it that you desire?
Elijah: ¹⁴ As you know, all my passion has been devoted to the Eternal God of heavenly armies. The Israelites have abandoned Your covenant with them, they have torn down every one of Your altars, and they have executed all who prophesy in Your name by the sword. I am the last remaining prophet, and they now seek to execute me as well. They won’t stop.
Eternal One: ¹⁵ Travel back the same way you traveled here, but continue north to the desert of Damascus. There, I want you to anoint Hazael as Aram’s king, ¹⁶ Jehu (Nimshi’s son) as Israel’s king, and Elisha (Shaphat’s son from Abel-meholah) to replace you as prophet. ¹⁷ Jehu will execute anyone who escapes from Hazael, and Elisha will execute all who escape from Jehu. ¹⁸ I will keep for Myself the 7,000 Israelites who have not bowed down to Baal or offered him kisses.

about 40 days after Elijah asked God to let him die... God tells him to appoint Elisha to replace him....

was this the plan all along? or did God give Elijah what he wanted?

consider the power of our words and how often we speak and say we don't want something... what if God took it from us 40days later....

John 8: 8 Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. ² He awoke early in the morning to return to the temple. When He arrived, the people surrounded Him, so He sat down and began to teach them. ³ While He was teaching, the scribes and Pharisees brought in a woman who was caught in the act of adultery; and they stood her before Jesus.

Pharisees: ⁴ Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ Moses says in the law that we are to kill such women by stoning. What do You say about it?

⁶ This was all set up as a test for Jesus; His answers would give them grounds to accuse Him of crimes against Moses’ law. Jesus bent over and wrote something in the dirt with His finger. ⁷ They persisted in badgering Jesus, so He stood up straight.

Jesus: Let the first stone be thrown by the one among you who has not sinned.

⁸ Once again Jesus bent down to the ground and resumed writing with His finger. ⁹ The Pharisees who heard Him stood still for a few moments and then began to leave slowly, one by one, beginning with the older men. Eventually only Jesus and the woman remained, ¹⁰ and Jesus looked up.

Jesus: Dear woman, where is everyone? Are we alone? Did no one step forward to condemn you?
Woman Caught in Adultery: ¹¹ Lord, no one has condemned me.
Jesus: Well, I do not condemn you either; all I ask is that you go and from now on avoid the sins that plague you.

all that Jesus asks from us is that we will go and now avoid the sins that plague us...
often we feel condemned when we do something we knew we shouldn't... even something just as 'small' as gossip or anger...

all God really wants from us is for us to repent and turn from it...

He also called it the sins that plague her.. meaning we must all acknowledge that we have things that are sinful and plaguing us.. and yet Jesus is asking us to avoid them.. but He is not condemning us for them..