Matthew 7: ¹⁹ So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. ²⁰ Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions. ²¹ “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. ²² On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ ²³ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’

okay... for me.. this blows the whole.. 'all who believe will be saved' story...

so I first accepted Christ at age 5.. and had some type of relationship with Him all along.. but not enough to truly change my actions... until the last 6-7years... after I gave up all the worldly things that I thought I loved... my relationship with God changed.. and I then began to wonder if I had ever really been saved before that... I know He was covering me and still chasing me down to get me to change.. but until I changed.. was I really saved? I am not sure..

and this is Jesus talking.. and it is new testament.. so that blows everyone's imagination that our actions are irrelevant and we can live any type of way and still be good with God...

I realize we all still fall and come short.. but I believe the difference is in the heart.. before.. I fell because I wanted to... I planned it out... I decided to do it.. that is rarely the case now... most of the shortcomings I have now.. I don't realize them until they are already done... then I am again asking forgiveness and trying to not allow it to happen again... I also don't feel I really repented before the way that I repent now... I am truly from the heart upset by my shortcomings now... I don't want to hurt God.. I want to be all that He has called me to be...

living righteously is more important than most people want to realize....

I am so thankful for the truth of who God is.. and no longer living under the fantasy that God does not judge us... or He does not discipline us... or He does not punish us for sin... to be punished for our wrongs.. is proof that God loves us... if He didn't love us.. He would let us live any type of way...

thank you Father for loving me.. enough to teach me when I am wrong...

Psalms 141: ³ Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips.

I am doing a 7 day devotional on gossip.. this was today's scripture...

I think daily this is a prayer I should have... not only because of saying negative things.. but also saying irrelevant words.. yesterdays scripture was that we will all have to answer for every idle word we speak....

that is pretty big to me.. as I tend to talk sometimes just to hear myself.. I am getting better and better at it.. but still... not where I need to be.. I think that if we were able to control our mouths.. we will have come a long long way on this walk with Christ... my witness would be greatly improved if I didn't speak some of the things that I speak.. I think our words are a responsiblity we take far too lightly...

take control of what I say Lord and guard my lips.. every single day... amen.amen.amen.

Luke 22: ³¹ “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. ³² But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”

on wednesday mornings I listen in on a prayer call from someone very near and dear to me... and this is the scripture she used one morning... as she was reading it I was thinking...

satan has to ASK permission to sift us... yet he is granted it....

while I am not thrilled about that idea... I know at the gym.. if I never raise the weight I lift or the resistance on my bike.. then I never get any stronger... I stay stagnant... so the enemy is given permission to try us... because if we stay in the same place.. doing the same things.. then we don't grow... we become stagnant...

but Jesus has pleaded in prayer for us...

how awesome is that.. the idea that Jesus is in the heavens pleading for us in prayer... the pleading part is exceptional.. but even the realization that He is praying for me is more than I can imagine...

He is praying that our faith does not fail...

I think that is to mean.. that even though we mess up.. we fall.. we hurt Christ's feelings.. we sin... we deny Him... at the end of it... we will still have faith... our faith will not totally give out on us... that is a struggle I have been having over the past few months... I had been ready to completely give up on everything... but at the bottom of that... I still believe in God.. I still believe in Jesus.. I still know I am saved... so while my endurance might seem to fail... my faith does not... at the end of the rope.. there is a knot of knowing who God is.. that keeps me hanging on.....

WHEN we have repented and returned again to Him... we are to strengthen others...

not if we repent.. not will we repent... but WHEN.. meaning it is a sure thing... that we will repent and return to Him...

then we are to strengthen others... that the purpose of our own mistakes can be used to strengthen someone else and possibly keep them from making the same mistakes as us... and that is a good thing... sometimes I wish I could learn more from others rather than having to go through everything on my own...

thank you Jesus for praying for me... for believing in me.. for keeping my faith when I am not sure I can....

Matthew 10: ³⁷ “If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. ³⁸ If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. ³⁹ If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.

you know.. we hear things but don't really accept them.. we have read this scripture hundreds of times.. yet do we really hear what it says? if you love your son or daughter more than God then we are not worthy of being His... really.. hear what is being said... do we love God more than our child? more than the child we carried in our belly for 9months.. the child we gave birth to in pain.. the child we have raised for 18yrs.. the child we see every single day and know all of their good points and all of their weaknesses... do we love God more than this being that was created by God using our body.....

we can't even see God.. while we know He is there... how much can we really love a being that we cannot look at.... enough to allow a child you birthed from your own body to die for Him.... do we really love God the way Abraham loved God.. enough to sacrifice our own son.... it is easy to say oh yes! I love God that much.... but it is really another thing to be faced with the truth of it...

I think in all of our lives... at some point... God makes us give up the person we love the most... whether it is a man or a child or a parent... and usually people represent something in our lives.. like for a woman a man may represent security or stability... a child may represent complete love... so when we give up this person.. we are also giving up what they represent.... we are giving that over to God too.... and allowing him to become our complete love.. or our security and stability... our trust...

I think it is only when we are faced with the reality that we cannot change anything He determines to do... we cannot make anything happen... that is when we are able to give it up to God and throw our hands in the air and realize... I have to believe that He has everyone's best interest in mind... regardless of what it looks like or feels like.. and we have to let go and allow Him to work it all out.. whatever way He chooses to do so...

this is how we learn to love God... and that He really is faithful... that He really is trustworthy.. and He really will catch us before we hit the ground................ I love me some Jesus... I am so thankful for His life... His death... His resurrection... His reigning... His kingdom...

Psalms 62: ¹ I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. ² He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. ³ So many enemies against one man— all of them trying to kill me. To them I’m just a broken-down wall
or a tottering fence. ⁴ They plan to topple me from my high position. They delight in telling lies about me. They praise me to my face but curse me in their hearts.

quietly... I am battling that one now.. and doing better than I have ever done before... God is telling me ahead of time that something is not necessary to be said and I am not saying it.. YAY about that!!

idk about ya'll but I really feel that God alone is my rock and fortress.. I would be a shaking mess without Him... I can walk away from many things and know I will be all right.. but God is not in that list... I cannot go a day without Him... without His word... truly I love my bibles.. I read them little bits at a time all day long...

so many enemies against one man... I had imagined that I really don't have alot of people who are my enemies... yea.. .I know that was a ridiculous statement...  I have many many enemies.. people who don't even know my name... people who don't like me just because of my appearance or my attitude or my knowledge... whatever it may be at the time... I doubt they think I am a broken down wall or tottering fence... even when in the face of adversity or anger from someone.. I tend to appear very confident.. even when I am not... they praise me to my face and curse me in their hearts.. I think we all deal with people like that...

the truth is.. God will bring us into victory at some point.. probably not as soon as we wish He would.. but eventually He will... and I am thankful for that!

Psalms 119: ¹⁴⁰ Your promises have been thoroughly tested; that is why I love them so much. ¹⁴¹ I am insignificant and despised, but I don’t forget your commandments. ¹⁴² Your justice is eternal, and your instructions are perfectly true. ¹⁴³ As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands. ¹⁴⁴ Your laws are always right; help me to understand them so I may live.

this morning I woke up and in my inbox on my phone is my verse of the day.. and it was "as pressure and stress bear down on me.. I find joy in your commands"

I have to admit.. I am not always able to find joy during pressure or during pain... and while my back has been sending me into live coniptions... I have not been too full of joy...

I am wondering this morning... if the reason God puts physical pain on us.. or emotional pressure or stress.. isn't to see just how we act when in pain or pressure... it is one thing to remain pleasant and full of the joy of the Lord when things are smooth.. even if they aren't smooth.. at least if they aren't all out hell... but what happens to our attitude and our actions when pressure and pain is pushed on us heavily? does our attitude go south....

I think mine does.. and it is completely unintentional... I cannot seem to rationally think when pain is great... I remember being in high stress when I was married and he was on drugs and drunk and mean and I just couldn't seem to think straight.. it was too much pressure... and I couldn't come out of the house because I couldn't function around people... and I am right this minute feeling that way about the pain in my back.. this is nerve pain.. and it is horrific... and I literally could scream out from it...

but what is supposed to be our reactions to rough times? I think... I wonder if we are to STILL even in this time of terribleness... still supposed to be a smiling light unto the world... wouldn't that be the true representation of Christ?

don't get me wrong... I can be smiling and pleasant for short bouts of time while in this pain and duress... but then I need to get home by myself and not be bothered talking or pretending all is good....

maybe the greatest witness we have is our witness while in pain and pressure... maybe that is really when people can look and think... whew! she is really christlike... it is not just a surface act.. it is deep down and real...

Father, your laws are always right.... help me to understand them so I may live by them...

change me Lord so that I am created in your likeness.. and not the likeness of my circumstances or feelings... in Jesus name I ask it.. amen.amen.amen.

Isaiah 51: ¹⁵ For I am the Lord your God, who stirs up the sea, causing its waves to roar. My name is the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. ¹⁶ And I have put my words in your mouth and hidden you safely in my hand. I stretched out the sky like a canopy
and laid the foundations of the earth. I am the one who says to Israel, ‘You are my people!’”

I am thankful that God is my God... that He is the creator and my God...

I look at the verse that says "I have put my words in your mouth" and I think.. hmmmm... idk if that is true all the time!! while I do better with the things I say.. surely I am not where God is putting all the words in my mouth... or is He? maybe the truth of it is that He is in control of ALL things.. and I wouldn't be able to say anything without Him allowing it... that all of the words of my mouth.. even the wrong ones.. are used by God as learning experiences to teach me to do better each day than the day before...

He has hidden me safely in His hand... nothing can reach me that He has not allowed.. so He is limiting the things that can come near me.. not everything or everyone can get near me or hurt me or even do me good... He limits my life situations with His knowledge of what I can manage at the moment... and that is a true gift...

and He says He is my God and I am His people... and words cannot even express how thankful I am that He desires me to be His people... because I am not always a wonderful person... yet He loves me anyways... that is a gift that words cannot even express gratitude for...

sometimes I look at how people treat me.. whether it be good or bad.. and relate it to how I treat God... and I many times think I am so lucky that He hasn't destroyed me for the way that I treat Him... I have surely left many people for less.... and yet He stands with me.. trying to get me to see His endless love for me.. trying to get me to accept it... trying to get me to return it... and for that I am so grateful....