today I am just talking..
I think have realized why so many of us.. myself included.. follow God for a time and then fall away...
Matthew 13: 3 He told many stories in the form of parables, such as this one: “Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. 4 As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. 5 Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. 6 But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. 8 Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! 9 Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”
I think when time goes on.. we get weary.. we can't see the change we are looking for.. things are even harder than they were when we were in the world.. so as the trials and storms of life come on us... we fall away.. get washed away.. fall back into what is easier and more familiar... but if we remain true.. if we stand strong and continue forward.. there will be a harvest.. it may not be what we wanted it to be.. it may only be the lives that our own stories change.. but we will see the kingdom of God advanced.. if we only stand strong through the storms..
so many times in the past I followed God for a year or two.. then the world called me back.. because God was obviously not my first love.. I felt like so many others that I could keep one foot in the church and one foot in the world.. that going out really didn't affect me... I still loved God.. I still attended church.. fornication wasn't ruining my walk with God... yet if I am honest with myself.. these things DID affect my walk and my relationship with God.. I allowed the world into my mind.. and I was not completely devoted to God.. instead I was completely devoted to self.. with a little God on the side.. just for good measure...
so this time.. as I have remained faithful.. although not sinless.. I still see the struggle being in the mind.. it just seems so much smarter to think like the world.. it is so much safer.. we cannot be hurt if we cannot be touched... but as I continue to focus on what is right and pure and honorable and good.. and cast out the thoughts of what might be... then my life is being changed.. my heart is being cleansed..
I wondered how someone I know was so.. polly purebred all the time.. and this is the answer.. her mind is focused on the things of God and that which is pure.. and she is not allowing the ugly of the world to invade her mind long enough to made her worldly wise.. she is not allowing the circumstances that she lives to harden her heart.. she is centered.. in her mind.. on Christ.. above all else..
and I wanna be just like her when I grow up!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
perception...
Luke 1: 46 Mary responded, “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. 47 How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! 48 For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed. 49 For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me. 50 He shows mercy from generation to generation to all who fear him. 51 His mighty arm has done tremendous things! He has scattered the proud and haughty ones. 52 He has brought down princes from their thrones and exalted the humble. 53 He has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away with empty hands. 54 He has helped his servant Israel and remembered to be merciful. 55 For he made this promise to our ancestors, to Abraham and his children forever.” 56 Mary stayed with Elizabeth about three months and then went back to her own home.
this is what mary said when she was pregnant.. unmarried.. and carrying the savior of the world...
now... I don't know about you... but most of us.. myself included.. tend to see what is wrong in a situation rather than what is right.. it is about our perception... we look at what needs fixed rather than what is spectacular...
realistically speaking.. mary's parents surely think she slept with joseph... who she is engaged to... can you imagine your daughter coming to you and telling you an angel told her she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit... come on now.. she is trying to cover up her own lack of fidelity before marriage.. that is just how we think..
joseph.. the husband to be.. KNOWS HE didn't sleep with her.. so obviously.. someone else has.. and he is planning to leave her behind this action.. which most men would... in those days.. they are contractually bound from the time of engagement but not allowed alone together so this type of thing can't happen... yet it has.. so it has got to be another man.. he probably doesn't even ASK her what happened.. instead just accuses her of sleeping with someone... but he doesn't want to shame her so he is going to QUIETLY divorce her.. since when is divorce EVER quiet?? even now...
yet mary praises God.. that He chose her above all the other righteous women in judea.. and she is praising Him and telling Him what an aweseome honor it is...
again.. here would be me.. saying LORD.. how can I do this??? everyone will think I am a whore and say I am crazy... everyone will hate me.. they will hate my son all of his life.. we will always live in shame.. the man I love no longer wants me.. my parents don't believe in me.. why would you do this to me?? why wouldn't you choose someone else for this??? yea.. I get that it is supposed to be some great honor.. but it surely doesn't feel like one right now.. please get me out of this...
today I say.. Father.. I praise your Holy Name.. I lift you above all the heavens.. I cannot understand why you would choose a lowly servant like me for such an amazing and awesome calling.. Lord I cannot say how much I love and adore you.. there are no words for this honor you have bestowed upon me.. I praise you for your faithfulness to me and all the generations.. your word always holds true.. everything that you promise comes to pass.. you have lifted my name and my face.. you have shown me love far beyond what I deserve or expect.. I honor you Lord above all things..
this is what mary said when she was pregnant.. unmarried.. and carrying the savior of the world...
now... I don't know about you... but most of us.. myself included.. tend to see what is wrong in a situation rather than what is right.. it is about our perception... we look at what needs fixed rather than what is spectacular...
realistically speaking.. mary's parents surely think she slept with joseph... who she is engaged to... can you imagine your daughter coming to you and telling you an angel told her she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit... come on now.. she is trying to cover up her own lack of fidelity before marriage.. that is just how we think..
joseph.. the husband to be.. KNOWS HE didn't sleep with her.. so obviously.. someone else has.. and he is planning to leave her behind this action.. which most men would... in those days.. they are contractually bound from the time of engagement but not allowed alone together so this type of thing can't happen... yet it has.. so it has got to be another man.. he probably doesn't even ASK her what happened.. instead just accuses her of sleeping with someone... but he doesn't want to shame her so he is going to QUIETLY divorce her.. since when is divorce EVER quiet?? even now...
yet mary praises God.. that He chose her above all the other righteous women in judea.. and she is praising Him and telling Him what an aweseome honor it is...
again.. here would be me.. saying LORD.. how can I do this??? everyone will think I am a whore and say I am crazy... everyone will hate me.. they will hate my son all of his life.. we will always live in shame.. the man I love no longer wants me.. my parents don't believe in me.. why would you do this to me?? why wouldn't you choose someone else for this??? yea.. I get that it is supposed to be some great honor.. but it surely doesn't feel like one right now.. please get me out of this...
today I say.. Father.. I praise your Holy Name.. I lift you above all the heavens.. I cannot understand why you would choose a lowly servant like me for such an amazing and awesome calling.. Lord I cannot say how much I love and adore you.. there are no words for this honor you have bestowed upon me.. I praise you for your faithfulness to me and all the generations.. your word always holds true.. everything that you promise comes to pass.. you have lifted my name and my face.. you have shown me love far beyond what I deserve or expect.. I honor you Lord above all things..
Friday, December 9, 2011
self esteem vs God esteem...
Isaiah 53:1 Who has believed our message? To whom has the Lord revealed his powerful arm? 2 My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot, like a root in dry ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
nothing to attract us to him. 3 He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.
4 Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down.And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! 5 But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. 6 All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own.Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all.
7 He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word.He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. 8 Unjustly condemned, he was led away. No one cared that he died without descendants, that his life was cut short in midstream. But he was struck down for the rebellion of my people. 9 He had done no wrong and had never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man’s grave.
10 But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants.He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands. 11 When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of his experience, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. 12 I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels.
we can think of all the things we blame on having low self esteem.. promiscuity.. drugs... lack of initiative to work or provide.. depression.. anger... resentment...
truly... Jesus did not have high self esteem.. he did not pick up his divinity and power and use it to his benefit.. everything that he had at his disposal.. he could easily have risen above man and taken power.. he could have chosen to stop man from coming against him.. but he laid down his entire life.. he lived as a servant.. without love.. without family.. to continue to give and save those around him but also for generations to come...
we often refuse to be a martyr.. we refuse to truly be a servant.. we refuse to lay down our own lives of comfort and give peace and joy to someone else in place of us having it... honestly.. we are unwilling to give up a day a month and do community service at maybe a soup kitchen or a shelter... we are selfish and constantly building ourselves up to say all that we are worth.. in truth.. if we died today.. how many lives would we have impacted? would 20 people be able to say that we represented Christ for them? are our actions and words a replica of the life of Christ...
our value needs to come from how God sees us.. not how man sees us.. we work so hard to please man and all the while shoving God to the side or the bottom.. never giving him our first fruits in action or finance or even in words... if our value came from God.. from what God sees in us.. wouldn't we then be willing to lay down our own desires and live for others.. even though this is not the popular plan.. it is the life of Christ and should be the life of each one of us.. this is what our children should be able to remember in us... this is what others should say about us when we are gone.. if Christ was crushed for God's good will.. what would make us imagine we would not be...
nothing to attract us to him. 3 He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.
4 Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down.And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! 5 But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. 6 All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own.Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all.
7 He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word.He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. 8 Unjustly condemned, he was led away. No one cared that he died without descendants, that his life was cut short in midstream. But he was struck down for the rebellion of my people. 9 He had done no wrong and had never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man’s grave.
10 But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants.He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands. 11 When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of his experience, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. 12 I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels.
we can think of all the things we blame on having low self esteem.. promiscuity.. drugs... lack of initiative to work or provide.. depression.. anger... resentment...
truly... Jesus did not have high self esteem.. he did not pick up his divinity and power and use it to his benefit.. everything that he had at his disposal.. he could easily have risen above man and taken power.. he could have chosen to stop man from coming against him.. but he laid down his entire life.. he lived as a servant.. without love.. without family.. to continue to give and save those around him but also for generations to come...
we often refuse to be a martyr.. we refuse to truly be a servant.. we refuse to lay down our own lives of comfort and give peace and joy to someone else in place of us having it... honestly.. we are unwilling to give up a day a month and do community service at maybe a soup kitchen or a shelter... we are selfish and constantly building ourselves up to say all that we are worth.. in truth.. if we died today.. how many lives would we have impacted? would 20 people be able to say that we represented Christ for them? are our actions and words a replica of the life of Christ...
our value needs to come from how God sees us.. not how man sees us.. we work so hard to please man and all the while shoving God to the side or the bottom.. never giving him our first fruits in action or finance or even in words... if our value came from God.. from what God sees in us.. wouldn't we then be willing to lay down our own desires and live for others.. even though this is not the popular plan.. it is the life of Christ and should be the life of each one of us.. this is what our children should be able to remember in us... this is what others should say about us when we are gone.. if Christ was crushed for God's good will.. what would make us imagine we would not be...
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Psalms 139: 16-18
16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! 18 I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!
do we really imagine our lives are already recorded in God's book of life? I don't think we do.. if we did.. why do we imagine that things will not work out? I mean realistically.. they may not work out as we desire.. but they will still work out to the best for all involved... if you think about the people who have come and gone in your life and how we tried sometimes to hold on to them.. maybe if we had been able to keep on to them.. they or you.. would never have taken the road you should have taken... what if we were able to get rid of people that we see as an annoyance.. possibly we would not have been changed and shaped by their abrasive personality... sometimes I cannot see the day before me.. sometimes I have completely forgotten in my eye the picture of the future God has spoken to me about... those are the days that I think I must not be praying right... I must not be asking in the right manner.. maybe I should be fasting and sacrificing... maybe I never saw what I thought I saw... some days we think God doesn't see our pain or our frustration.. we think that maybe He doesn't care.. we can't hear Him sometimes.. His voice is muffled..
if we really accepted that God already has written out what will happen.. if we accept that His will is already set.. that we will walk into it when it is right.. then all this frustration could possibly be avoided...
how precious are His thoughts about me.. they cannot be numbered.. the idea that all the time.. God is in heaven thinking great thoughts about us... what a picture that is... what an amazing idea... yet here we are.. thinking God has forgotten us.. thinking God is not going to work our situation out... disillusioned by what we see... dishearted by what we hear...
today is a new day... believe.. speak.. walk.. in the truth of God's word.. believe He has already worked your situation out.. speak that He is sitting on the throne.. thinking about how much He loves you... walk in the truth of God's word...
do we really imagine our lives are already recorded in God's book of life? I don't think we do.. if we did.. why do we imagine that things will not work out? I mean realistically.. they may not work out as we desire.. but they will still work out to the best for all involved... if you think about the people who have come and gone in your life and how we tried sometimes to hold on to them.. maybe if we had been able to keep on to them.. they or you.. would never have taken the road you should have taken... what if we were able to get rid of people that we see as an annoyance.. possibly we would not have been changed and shaped by their abrasive personality... sometimes I cannot see the day before me.. sometimes I have completely forgotten in my eye the picture of the future God has spoken to me about... those are the days that I think I must not be praying right... I must not be asking in the right manner.. maybe I should be fasting and sacrificing... maybe I never saw what I thought I saw... some days we think God doesn't see our pain or our frustration.. we think that maybe He doesn't care.. we can't hear Him sometimes.. His voice is muffled..
if we really accepted that God already has written out what will happen.. if we accept that His will is already set.. that we will walk into it when it is right.. then all this frustration could possibly be avoided...
how precious are His thoughts about me.. they cannot be numbered.. the idea that all the time.. God is in heaven thinking great thoughts about us... what a picture that is... what an amazing idea... yet here we are.. thinking God has forgotten us.. thinking God is not going to work our situation out... disillusioned by what we see... dishearted by what we hear...
today is a new day... believe.. speak.. walk.. in the truth of God's word.. believe He has already worked your situation out.. speak that He is sitting on the throne.. thinking about how much He loves you... walk in the truth of God's word...
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
all tied up
I saw before my eyes.. my hands tied together behind my back... there is plenty of scripture about being tied up and beaten or killed.. sometimes it was the intention yet it was not accomplished... it seems that the enemy is forever trying to get us so that we cannot do anything.. we are instead stuck with no hands.. but some times.. being tied up and powerless comes from God...
ezekiel 3: 24 Then the Spirit came into me and set me on my feet. He spoke to me and said, “Go to your house and shut yourself in. 25 There, son of man, you will be tied with ropes so you cannot go out among the people. 26 And I will make your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth so that you will be speechless and unable to rebuke them, for they are rebels.
I often wonder if I should have been silent long ago and now I am being forced into a season of silence.. with my hands tied so I cannot do anything to help someone.. maybe some times people have to be able to see and accept for themselves without any help from someone who can see...
who knows.. maybe I am the one who will see at the end of the silence... at this point... only God truly knows the outcome.. we can think and imagine and even be shown.. but the truth of what we think will be shown by God in the end..
ezekiel 3: 24 Then the Spirit came into me and set me on my feet. He spoke to me and said, “Go to your house and shut yourself in. 25 There, son of man, you will be tied with ropes so you cannot go out among the people. 26 And I will make your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth so that you will be speechless and unable to rebuke them, for they are rebels.
I often wonder if I should have been silent long ago and now I am being forced into a season of silence.. with my hands tied so I cannot do anything to help someone.. maybe some times people have to be able to see and accept for themselves without any help from someone who can see...
who knows.. maybe I am the one who will see at the end of the silence... at this point... only God truly knows the outcome.. we can think and imagine and even be shown.. but the truth of what we think will be shown by God in the end..
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Speak Life
Luke 6: 45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
out of the mouth speaks what the heart is full of... what is it that comes out of our mouth?
as much as I have changed.. yet there is evil in my heart sometimes... there are mean and dark thoughts.. people I don't like.. things I do that I shouldn't....
we can ask God daily to change our hearts.. to cleanse it... yet somehow.. the world still seeps into it and makes it dark...
I will use my own example of gossip... as this is one of my largest weaknesses...
I can tell myself daily that I will speak nothing negative about anyone.. yet daily.. some piece of something comes out of my mouth...
even if we only talk about our children.. we can determine to say nothing but good things about them.. speak nothing but life... yet the words that come out are still not what they should be.. they are better than what may have been in the past.. but not what they should be...
God spoke to me one day that as long as we are influencing a child.. anyone's child.. it is our responsibility to speak life and hope into the child.. if you think back to your childhood.. the things we tend to remember are the ones that should not have ever been said to us... if we take this stance on everyone that we know.. refuse to speak negative things.. even if they are true.. and instead find the life in that person.. find the positive and speak that out instead.. how much better a world this will be.. even just our own small world...
speak life daily.. as we reap what we sow.. don't we desire to receive life and not death... the future lies in our words.. speak life..
out of the mouth speaks what the heart is full of... what is it that comes out of our mouth?
as much as I have changed.. yet there is evil in my heart sometimes... there are mean and dark thoughts.. people I don't like.. things I do that I shouldn't....
we can ask God daily to change our hearts.. to cleanse it... yet somehow.. the world still seeps into it and makes it dark...
I will use my own example of gossip... as this is one of my largest weaknesses...
I can tell myself daily that I will speak nothing negative about anyone.. yet daily.. some piece of something comes out of my mouth...
even if we only talk about our children.. we can determine to say nothing but good things about them.. speak nothing but life... yet the words that come out are still not what they should be.. they are better than what may have been in the past.. but not what they should be...
God spoke to me one day that as long as we are influencing a child.. anyone's child.. it is our responsibility to speak life and hope into the child.. if you think back to your childhood.. the things we tend to remember are the ones that should not have ever been said to us... if we take this stance on everyone that we know.. refuse to speak negative things.. even if they are true.. and instead find the life in that person.. find the positive and speak that out instead.. how much better a world this will be.. even just our own small world...
speak life daily.. as we reap what we sow.. don't we desire to receive life and not death... the future lies in our words.. speak life..
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Leah's Beauty
Genesis 29: 17 There was no sparkle in Leah’s eyes, but Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face.
imagine this being what is in the bible about you... the bible.. read around the world.. for thousands and thousands of years... everyone in the world knows of the bible whether they read it or not.. and always when they speak of leah.. they speak about her lack of beauty....
what is that really about?? worse yet.. do we do that to people too?? do we look at someone and determine all that is wrong with them instead of searching out their good qualities? and if we do that... what would we feel if everyone did that to us... and maybe they really do...
not all of us are beautiful in the face.. not all of us have a beautiful body... but every one of us has the ability to be a beautiful person... and part of us being beautiful is to look for the good in someone else instead of only seeing what is not attractive... every one of us has qualities that make us unattractive too...
it should be our goal to find the beauty in a person.. every person.. instead of focusing on what is wrong with them...
leah was someone who was a good mother.. she was strong and dependable.. she relied on God above man.. she loved her husband despite the fact that he treated her badly and didn't even know that he loved her or needed her.. she continued to be a woman of God in spite of her circumstance.. that should be how people remember us.. as a woman of God "in spite of"....
Philippians 4: 7-9 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
when the things of God are our focus.. peace will be the result... beauty will come from within us and make us loveable regardless of our appearance...
1 Peter 3: 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.
leah was beautiful in the eyes of God.. those are the eyes that really matter to me.. if I am beautiful to God.. in my spirit... then I am satisfied...
imagine this being what is in the bible about you... the bible.. read around the world.. for thousands and thousands of years... everyone in the world knows of the bible whether they read it or not.. and always when they speak of leah.. they speak about her lack of beauty....
what is that really about?? worse yet.. do we do that to people too?? do we look at someone and determine all that is wrong with them instead of searching out their good qualities? and if we do that... what would we feel if everyone did that to us... and maybe they really do...
not all of us are beautiful in the face.. not all of us have a beautiful body... but every one of us has the ability to be a beautiful person... and part of us being beautiful is to look for the good in someone else instead of only seeing what is not attractive... every one of us has qualities that make us unattractive too...
it should be our goal to find the beauty in a person.. every person.. instead of focusing on what is wrong with them...
leah was someone who was a good mother.. she was strong and dependable.. she relied on God above man.. she loved her husband despite the fact that he treated her badly and didn't even know that he loved her or needed her.. she continued to be a woman of God in spite of her circumstance.. that should be how people remember us.. as a woman of God "in spite of"....
Philippians 4: 7-9 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
when the things of God are our focus.. peace will be the result... beauty will come from within us and make us loveable regardless of our appearance...
1 Peter 3: 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.
leah was beautiful in the eyes of God.. those are the eyes that really matter to me.. if I am beautiful to God.. in my spirit... then I am satisfied...
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