James 4: 7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

I was teaching a class last night and in the conversation it comes up that I have been celibate since 2006... and this person tells me that is great.. ummm no ma'am.. I am not celibate by choice.. I am celibate because of God telling me I am to be holy, righteous and pure.. that is just a sin that I avoid.. it doesn't mean I don't sin... it really means now my sins are the worst kind.. the ones down inside where other people can't see them.. the ones in my thoughts and words... 

I think we act like we do these outward sins as if we don't have the ability to stop them.. I remain celibate by not being alone with a man.. if I were alone with a man that I am attracted to.. surely I would fall... 

I feel like we pick and choose what sins matter and what ones don't.. they are all the same to God.. He doesn't give us levels of what sin is worse.. and I mean truly.. if anything I think the worst sins would be the ones that affect more people.. if you are doing something that causes other people to fall in their walk with Christ.. that would be a worse sin than one no one else even knew about.. (that is not bible.. that is my opinion)

the goal is to walk blameless before the Lord.. to walk worthy of the call He has put upon your life.. 

this long celibacy is not some badge of honor.. it is a heavy cross.. and every single day I wish it was over with.. so don't think I am wonderful and sinfree.. surely I am not... the enemy just has to come at me in a different manner..