Ecclesiastes 1: 8 Everything is wearisome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content.

I have been waiting on something from God for a very long time.. 7years... I have been faithful and kept myself pure... yet I am still waiting.. and because I am waiting expectantly.. I tend to be dissatisfied... I tend to be constantly wanting today to be the day... always striving.... 

now if I am honest with myself.. I am not sure that this 'promise' will make me happy.. in truth.. I think it will make me less happy than I am right now... right now I have no problems.. no one to tell me what to do... I am honestly very comfortable and very happy... 

but the issue is.. I believe the promise is attached to my kingdom purpose... so I am unsatisfied not doing what God has created me and called me to do.. so I would rather be less happy and in God's will completely... 

so today I think... Lord.. I am happy.. I don't need anything else from you.. just your presence... just your voice.. just sight of your will... as far as anything else goes.. if you decide to bring it to me.. I will accept it and be thankful... and if you decide to leave me right where I am for the rest of my life.. I will be happy and thankful right here... so whatever you want to do or not do.. I am on board with it.. because I love you more than I love being happy.. and I am tired of being discontent waiting for something I am no longer even sure of.. 

1 Timothy 6: 6 Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.

Philippians 4: 11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.