Job 14: ¹³ “I wish you would hide me in the grave and forget me there until your anger has passed. But mark your calendar to think of me again!

 

my relationship with God has changed as I have 'matured' in Him.. and I would think some of it is normal.. but I also think it sucks... sometimes no matter what I do.. I don't seem to connect with God the ways I did in the past.. I don't hear Him like I used to... now I do know that just like any other relationship.. you don't always have to be talking for everything to be all right.. I don't really feel God is angry with me about anything.. if I would put words to it.. I would say like Job did.. that He has forgotten me.. but I pray He will mark His calendar and remember me again...

 

God was not angry with Job.. but in Job's thoughts.. God HAD to be angry with him... otherwise.. why was everything falling apart? he couldn't think of anything he had done wrong.. and doesn't the bible say that God will protect us.. and care for us.. I can completely understand Job thinking like this...

 

it is very difficult to 'wait God out'... to wait until He decides to again speak or show His face.. or give understanding.. God is good for thinking saying it once or twice is enough., then you are to hold on to it... as humans.. we are not so good at that.. at least I am not!! LOL!!

and in this period of waiting.. where we are changing and sure that we are crazy as the day is long.. and we just had to have heard God wrong.. and we think.. well.. I could just go ahead and do this.. or I could be satisfied here... or whatever thoughts we use to get through the horrific waiting for God.. His intention is to build our faith...

it is one type of faith to hear from God and the thing happens shortly thereafter.. even if it is a year or two.. that is still short term in God's hands... but when we wait for something for a LONG time... over 5years.. with nothing in sight and no understanding... when this comes to pass... can you imagine the faith you will then have in God... you will likely never doubt Him again.... and in the midst of it.. you know you can trust God.. but you don't know that you heard right... until it finally comes to pass.. and then as you are fully restored to God and His closeness... and you from that point on.. are able to trust quietly.. without all the unsureness.. without all the confusion.. without all the needing affirmation...

at least that is what I am praying for.. when my vision comes to pass...